We're all human

In search of something inspiring. This dreamlike state I awoke in today will not shake. It's making me think things. Questioning all the relationships surrounding me. I've been seeking simple fun again. Remember simple fun? It's when boredom and silliness come together and make memories. Those are the best times of my life. When everyone's hanging out and being silly and having fun without the need for drugs or alcohol. You don't need outside forces to have fun, just good company. Although now I realize that I need to find that again. This summer was spent with the company of a lot of alcohol. Today's haze comes from a wild weekend which largely contained silliness and alcohol. This was a nice weekend to say goodbye to summer. Right at the start of the season I lost what I call a "summer friend". A summer friend is someone you rarely see throughout winter and once the weather turns warm your with them daily. He was a great man and that is all I can say about it without upsetting myself. His death was sudden and tragic and because no one knows the truth behind it, it is too painful to let myself write full detail about him. Perhaps some other time. With that said, the summer did start quietly but we came through did our usual, camped and jammed and drank and laugh. This was a great season and I started it single and spent the whole middle as someone's fiancee and now it's ending and I'm single again. How quickly things change. Everyday is a challenge and a lesson. Some times I hate myself but I don't think you can change how you feel about the world, I think the world does it for you. So, with fall on it's way in my memory I can smell the leaves turning and popcorn from the microwave as I curl up on the couch to watch a movie and avoid the chilly autumn air. It's time for nature to rest and that in turn is what I will do this fall. Rest.