We're all human

the squirrel on the back porch that scares the crap out of me and Mel on a daily basis has done it once again. Dear Melany stepped out onto the back porch to put out the trash and low and behold she sees that the bag is moving. Her first thought is "eww, mouse"......then she notices the size of this moving mass and her next thought is "ewwww, rat." So, Melany being the animal rights activist of the year picks up a mop and continually beats on the moving lump an upwards of 80 times. Panicking and probably slightly winded at this point, Melany picks up the bag to view her victory when Scooter Mcnutty himself jumpes out unharmed at Melany, pounces off her chest and takes off into the great land that is Melany's back yard. The screams the poor girl have let out now have got the attention of her daughter and dog who have at this point joined her on the back porch.

First I must say, I'm sorry that I've been feeding the animals Melany. Second, only can some thing like this happen to Melany and I'm sure her version of the story is much funnier then my portrayal. So Mel if your feeling saucy write your recollection on the comments page for us to enjoy.

I have a little some thing I'd like to add about Melany here. We've known each other since 9th or 10th grade. When I say known I mean that's when we met and have never gone without the others friendship. She is a true friend and I watched her on Saturday night dance around so silly next to some friends of ours who are going through a really rough time. She brought big smiles to those two faces. Smiles bigger then I've seen in some time. That's what you do Mel, you make people smile and you make sure every one around you is well taken care of. I love you for that, you are the kind of person that makes life bearable when you think your not going to make it. Thank you.

Now about those friends going through a rough time. When I say rough, I mean heartbreaking. Please keep those in your prayers and send out good thoughts. You know those times people go through, the ones that you have not experienced yet, and hope to never. That is when you say something to the tune of, "I can only imagine." Well I can't even find those words in my voice. I can't imagine. All I can do is pray and so I.

Dear God,

Please bless this family in the makes. Give them strength, strength from you and from all of us around them with love and support to offer. Know that we have faith in your plan for us no matter what it be. Thank you for this day and yesterdays and for whatever tomorrow will bring. A-men

On another note completely. To the GRAIN and MOON'S MEDICINE SHOW, bravo. It was a good weekend in music and I am so proud of the people I call friends. Talented to the point of goose bumps on my skin. I'm looking forward to many more excellent shows. Just for getting out there and doing what you love, I envy you. For getting out there and doing what you love and rocking the house doing it, damn. Keep going, go all the way.

Hmm, what else do I got......I watched a little girl that I've known since birth read a Dr. Suess book last night. There are no words.

You want to see a f*cking rocking good time. Head up to T.C. Reilly's (the old Candlelight) in Trucksville. It is the new Blue Monday with Sting Ray and Chuck and a hugh handful of talented musicians rocking out. I haven't heard jamming like that in quite a while. It's a drive for most of us, but there is not need to drink to do it. Just old favorites with new feelings behind it. I recommend it to any one who misses the Lispi's days. It surpasses that by means beyond my vocabulary.

Okay, I wrote a lot. Had a lot to say. Still have more to say but losing circulation in my fingers. Peace.

all the things that I miss about the warmer weather. More than anything, I miss open windows. The breeze, especially the way my apt. is set up. In the Spring and Summer it's the most peaceful place. The wind just whips through the whole floor and I can breathe. Looking forward.

An old friends father passed this week. Although I feel sympathy for the family I am excited to see my friend. He's been in Boston for the past few years and he'll be here any minute. He wants me to take him out tonight but what around here can be more exciting then anything in Boston. hmmm...Suggestions anyone?

Now I'd like to share a situation I was in the other day that made me ill. I've been practicing this song all week and it sounds good.....when I'm alone on the third floor. Dear Joe was sitting on the couch and all I wanted to do was play this damn song for some one. I picked up my guitar and immediately the shakes took over and damn it. Why? Why can't I play in front of people anymore. It's really bringing me down. I'd like to take on the "who cares what if you suck, at least your trying attitude", but that ain't workin'.

Argh, even when I think some one may be outside the room listening to me I choke up.

Otherwise, I've been dreaming a lot in my sleep these days. It's all mundane every day stuff. Things that could happen at any given moment and conversations that I'm sure to have in the next few hours. What's that about? Then I'll get that whole de-ja-vous and be all freaked out.

Laundry is done, house is clean, no work till Sunday, what now? Guess I'll go home and read until I think of some thing really good to make for dinner. I've only cooked maybe two real meals in my house since moving in. I like to cook, but only when people come over to eat with me. Maybe Boston Joe will be up for some home cooked food. Well, if your around later and hungary, you know the address! Hope you all have a good weekend.

I got the Instant Live discs in the mail from the Assembly of Darts show!! Can't wait to pop it in on my ride to work. 42 minutes and counting. Lost all three games last night boo-hoo.

New opportunities arising. Starting next Friday I will have six hours a week in Pittston with three children. One of which is three months old. I have to admit that the money I will make will just cover my gas expenses for the week but the upside is huge. With two friends expecting I am excited to have this chance to spend time with a newborn. At three months is that still considered a newborn? I hope so. I have experience with children of all ages but not what I would consider enough with babies. This will give me a chance to maybe learn some tricks and what not for when my friends bundles arrive this summer.

Finished another book, James Patterson's Mary Mary. Starting another of his entitled Lifeguard. I try and read all of his novels, he was Grandma's favorite and I feel the need to read until he is done writing, just for her. Although I do enjoy it as well. His stories are layered and the chapters are quick and his wording is inspiring.

BUT I WANT SPRING TO COME! Is anyone else feeling a little trapped these days. It's that time of year. I can only read and jam so much and then I want to scream. Warmer days are coming and more so then ever I'm looking forward to spending it in the right company.

Little words make my days.

Every day that I sit here writing the same squirrel is out climbing up and down this rinky dink tree. There is nothing on the tree to eat, maybe it's his own personal jungle gym. I think tomorrow I will get him some nuts, throw a few out there a day. Hey Mel, what if I start feeding the one on the back porch? That guy is a little freaky isn't he. This damn squirrel at Mel's sits on the railing until your right on top of him, he jumps, you jump, he takes off, you exhale, and a few hours later it's the same thing.

Well of to work. The busier it is the quicker it'll go and the faster I'll be driving to the Firemen's Inn. Good Luck to those who are playing tonight.

What a night, wind whipping, rain pounding, me under the covers reading scary mysteries until my eyes closed on themselves. It was a good night to curl up with a good book. Today is just as eerie. Only it's daylight. I'm not trying to be productive today. Just read and breathe and try not to be too much of a burden on my self. Huh, that was funny cause I actually wrote elf. I wish I had an elf. See guys this is how you be simple. An elf.....who can find me an elf? Should I go wander through the magical Forrest searching for talking trees and pink elephants. No, no, that was last weekend. Oh, boy.

I miss the boys, and I hope to see them this weekend. That in itself is all I have to say about that. What was that whole Forrest thing again.

American Idol. Oh yes folks, the new season is in full effect. I am no longer a closet case about my American Idol, I watch it. There I said it. Turns out, so does half my people anyway. Now we can watch it together and not be ashamed! Mel, you were killing me last night. I'm glad I stayed home.

Tonight I got darts, OH YEAH, WHO IS UNDEFEATED, ME THAT'S RIGHT, ME SON'S A BEES! Better not brag or my luck'll run out. Tomorrow is the debut of The Firemen's Inn Open Mic night. I gotta waitress till around ten and then I'm going to check it out. Finally a breath of fresh air. Just hope certain meat heads don't ruin the fun. I don't like meat. I like bread.

Get me away from myself, going to escape in a book.

I like home time, but it's better when you feel healthy. I can't kick this damn cold. Boogers are abundant, anyone want some? Yeah, so if I'm not working, I'm home. It's nice because it's my space and there are things there that keep me busy. I'm very very frustrated with that six stringed instrument. I can't find the problem but I do think that if instead of slamming back into it's case, I try and play through the frustrations, then I may find myself in a better position. Darn, darn, darn.

I had this very presistant customer yesterday telling me that I look as if I should be preaching the gospel. I have considered it before. I don't think anyone has ever told me that I have the "look" to do it and I'm not quite sure what he meant. As a Christian I'd like to think that I do it on a daily basis in a subtle way. I may not stand on public square on some soap box trying to preach to others what I myself don't always abide by. Sorry to get all Yurkin on your eyes folks but I just thought it strange. And Yurk, don't take that offensively because it's not meant to be that way.

It was so cold out today, I feel bad for the folks out there in it all day. I didn't accomplish shit today. Remember, I'm still playing the sick card.

Tonight, I will chill. Try and find the right position with my antenna to watch a decent show. I don't even know what is good on t.v. anymore. Any suggestions?

Masturbation. I know a number of my friends read the shit I write on here and now I'm gonna test their shame factor. How many of you will willingly admit they masturbate, and how often. Click on the "comment" link below and be as honest as possible. Thanks for playing along.

As for the rest of my world. Not too much. I hate being idle and there are a number of things I can be doing in this time off. Actually only three more days of time off. I want to do things, clean walkway, clean truck, refinish cedar chest, yadda yadda yadda. I don't know what is stopping me. I've done the hiking and thinking and reading, now I want to have some thing to show for this past week off. I haven't even a hangover to show for my time. Today just may be the day. Update tomorrow at noon. Unless I'm actually accomplishing some thing.

I'd like to apologize to all of my friends who are sick. Blame Tomato he had it first.

I smell like hippy juice though have no recollection of applying any after this mornings shower.

Hey Al, I can't figure out that damn time thing, please help.

Missal got a new Jeep. The nice Jeep. It's solid and pretty and has all the amenities one could ever wish for, on the outside and the inside. So congrats to you, and listen to Amanda when she tells you not to attempt something that you'll probably attempt any way. HAHAHAH.

Wasn't sure which one just drove past me on my way here a little while ago. But I'd like to think it was him, on a day off. He's been busting his balls and I know he's worn out. Speaking of.....I saw Girm last night, and he's out and about and doing well. So a big yee-ha to him and prayers for a speedy recovery.

Back to being silly some where.

and I'm taking advantage of it. I scaled Prospect Rock last night just before the sun went down and talked to the man upstairs about processed meat. Walked around Wilkes Barre just hours before that noticing businesses I never knew existed. Sat in the afternoon sunlight reading as the dog ran around and around and around in circles. Very peaceful. I like those days. Those few days you get when you can just breathe. Get some perspective and/or do as you wish. Wrote some old friends letters. Saw the KGB blow the doors off the garage last night. You guys grow everyday. Gives me chills and not a many song can do that. You guys do that with quite a few. Then it ended poorly when I thought a night cap at the local yard would be a good idea. Some old hag picked a fight with little old me. My mouth went about a thousand miles per minute until I realized how silly it actually was. My goodness. People can be real pig headed.

Getting over a cold that left me on my couch most of the weekend. Sunday pulled me out and found us around a fire in a historical section of our local Mountain. It was of words I can't find at his time, but it was. The happy-go-lucky hikers, if they only knew that we could of taught them more history of that mountain in an hours sitting then their entire hike probably did. Next time I'm gonna join that little excursion and throw in my tid-bits along the way. Thanks 7n, I needed some time out there.

That's is about all I got in the life of Amanda Jane at the moment. All is at peace. Thank the Lord.

Going for a walk across the top of the mountain after I find the bottome to my laundry pile. Peas

I just can't help but to sit and think about the fact that I am alive.

Where did all the dead people go, can they see me.

Mostly I think of how bad it scares me. I'm not afraid to die per say. I'm more afraid of when. I try to make the most, get the most out of a day. That's why I despise a nap, but I've been finding myself doing so the last few days.

Could be the holidays.

Anyway, I guess I worry about leaving every one else behind when I go. It makes me sad that some people do not think about the end. Do not think about the impression they will leave behind, or the effect they've had on people's lives. Maybe if more people did then they would make the best out of their days, and not be such ass holes.

think we all know where this is coming from.

I don't cry when I'm out of smokes and all I have in the fridge is old milk. I don't get pissed when some one has the latest and greatest of whatever have you be. I don't feel left out when I can't hop on a bus and take off for a festival. I don't get mad when I just get dumped and some one else falls in love.

I get upset when I see some one wasting away their day on gripes. I'm happy and I'm not sorry.

Make the most of it.

so much has happened and aside from a "good friend" calling me on Christmas Eve directly before I departed for church and telling me he doesn't want to be my friend anymore, all is well. there isn't much more I can say on that except, a true friend does not do that, a born again Christian doesn't do that. I miss the kids dearly and I do hope in time that I can retain the bond we have formed over the past year and a half. Merry Christmas guys, hope you liked your gifts.

I got to be in NYC just two nights before New Year's Eve. It was great. The music (AOD) rocked my soul and the scenery was nothing less then exciting. The company was unlike any other I've had in some strange city all alone. I don't think I've ever felt more like myself in elements unknown. Thank you and Merry Christmas once again. I should be receiving the "Live Now" in the mail any day now. Yippie, and once again...Merry Christmas.

Now for New Years Eve!!! Success. Nothing more, nothing less. Aside from a smashed window that not off the skin of any of our own friends, we genuinely had a good time. It's safe to say that we're adults now, and I've never seen so many people jammed into Mel's house with so much laughter and happiness. I love ever person who came to share New Year's with us. Thanks to all of you for helping out and making food and shouting the count down to bring in a new year that I pray will be full of good news for us all. Hell we've already got a few weddings coming up and babies being born!!

There is still so much to say. I have a lot of pictures to post, we'll let them do the talking.

A very special thanks to Melany for always being the first to say "let's have a party" and for always making it the place to be.