We're all human

What a weekend. Fun, fun, and then when I least expected it....I had more fun. But you know what's not so much fun? Feeling. I don't consider myself emotional, and I hope I don't come off that way. I do, although, hide it. When you feel fun or happy, life is good. When you feel for some one that can be good, but for me it's more or less dangerous. I haven't felt this particular way in so long, I thought it was but a memory. I know I'm going to get burned going down this road. If not, then I will be more than happy to share but my predictions are usually solid. Singing. Happy. Amanda. Never. so Emotional. Poop on me.

See how easy it is to end the serious side of myself. Great times, the Rodeo and then the Irish sing along. Then a trip to Whisky Business in the middle of Saturday. Then OZ at the Bone Yard. Had some drama there that I do not wish to share but must face, perhaps today. Time, time....it just keeps going on. I know I'm living in it and loving it but I've had some dark thoughts.

I always thought I could handle my own death. I know where I'm going, well I know I'm going to heaven, yet what it is will make me crazy trying to picture. I just fear leaving my own body. Will I be able to fly? Will I reunite with loves long gone. Will there be great joy. Maybe more then anything, I fear not knowing if I am dead or alive. Guess I'll know when I get there. Alas, time to go back to chewing bubble gum.