We're all human

There are a few albums that I find necessary to sit down and write to. This is one of my favorites. The music itself is such a mix of emotion of that that goes on in my brain. Nights such as this I come home, into my room, turn the dimmest of the three lights on. I light a candle just to play with the wax as I hit walls in my train of thought. I light a cigarette and an incense stick to mask the stench of cigarette. I find the nearest black pen and notebook, hit play on the stereo and sit. It all sound so cliches, but it's me. I let my exact thoughts at this given moment bleed from pen to paper, a lot of it seems too extreme to share with those that read my blog. So words that end up in these countless notebooks don't usually make it into my blog the following day. I'm sure reading back into past entries you can differenciate what was sat down and written out and what seeps from my brain in front of a blinking cursor. I need more nights like these. The world appears so much clearer once I allow myself to relax. I think I come off as calm to others, not so much calm as composed, but there is always a million things jumping around upstairs.

So this is good, tonight is good, and you Buddy? Buddy is good too, chillin' on his bed, peaceful, yet secretly begging me to put out the cigarette.

I don't have many pictures in my room, though each significant. We have a picture of me 2yrs. old, hands clapping and a laugh let out at the second the photographer clicked his camera. We have my friend Jarrad holding his daughter Cassy, adjacent to another of his wife, my best friend Kelly holding her step-daughter. Jarrad will soon be home from serving a year in Iraq. Praise God. Back to pictures....A fairly recent photo of my brother and I. Insignificant to everyone but me. There is a frame split into three 3x5's which contain a friend since 98 Alan, my wonderful father and a crazy friend I haven't seen since Wegman's days named Joe. My favorite of all is a picture takes in a stall of the 1st floor bathroom in G.A.R. after an assembly. We found each other there for a smoke, myself and my best friends from high school, Melany, Kelly, Holly, and poor Katie who got stuck holding the camera. Good times.

Of course I have a few more pictures but you get the idea. We all have our collections of them. Most end up in albums. The most meaningful are on our walls and dressers. Funny.

Maybe I will post a pic or two of my room.

I am one of the most sentimental schleps you will ever meet. I keep every thing that's beautiful with meaning and can tell you the story behind each piece. People, don't live in the past. Please. You will miss the future and the new memories you'd have to add to your past. I am grateful though it may not always show. We're all allowed bouts of unhappiness, but we all bounce back. Some faster, some slower. If you ever struggle, I am here. "Then before and now once more I'm bouncin' round the room." Different album, but good all the same.

I fear this album is coming upon the last song, which means time to rest my eyes. I've had the same headache for days, but I think my form of therapy (writing) has paid off and I'll take advantage that the battle that is my mind is at peace for the night. Good night. Sorry for babbling.