We're all human

Someone hear me, I want to thank you for my patience. The unknown fact that I'd rather die then sleep. So much to see and not nearly as many ears to hear.

Shown by experience that I can feel for life once again.
When every song sounds like the end.
Just a riff from a sight I have yet to miss.
A jump from a dark cliff I have yet to risk.
Ran into you in the most obscure place.
None I've missed yet, no feeling, no face.


Bright Eyes have captured me to the highest point. Equal to what Radiohead once meant.

They make me feel when all else has failed.
The meaning, unbenounced to me has to do with what should, but never will be.
The closest I will ever come to being taken as far away as he has me,
Is through music like this that makes me remember to see.

I know you all love me, equally but different. Tell myself to go away, far away. I reminded myself that I do exist. I front for a simple smile then for my very own self. I'm finding it again...A reason, my reason, to regain tonight and embrace tomorrow. I'm still alive.

Who needs therapy when you have a canvas and accessories? I'm going to let myself be brought to this. When you find something inspiring you cant stop painting or writing and creating because of it. But it hides and we hide. We know yet deny. We breathe and smile still, in denial. I keep killing time. I hope your journey always find you in good health.

Everyone I know wants me to be a different person for each of them. Sorry but I am the same to all of you. I may act differently in certain situations but the values and components that make up who I am are still what they are. I've rendered myself useless because I can't be everything for everyone. If I could then my purpose would finally be served and I can finally put an end to the madness that emanates from this earth. I'm always trying to escape, but the exits are blocked and my reality frightens me. The choices I should of made and those I still can seem so wrong. I miss being content even in poverty and sadness I have always been but I want so much more then my emotional means can comprehend. Content, find me again.

Happiness could be this candle that burns if front of me from a friend for Christmas. Or the juice I sip from now that was purchased from on a shopping excursion I will never forget.

I'm searching for a way to always be happy and I haven't felt at home is so many years and so many houses. "So I'm always pacin' around or walkin' away" Truth is words.

Every time I make a friend, I miss the one I made last. It always feels like the end of the world and this is my inspiration for wanting for run free all the time. Woods, Bars, Friends houses. I'm always trying to get it all in. I'm tired, and it shows. I hate that I can't be who everyone wants. I don't ever want to lose myself again. If I do then these words would never end and I'd write myself right past delusion and into insanity. I want to make everyone smile again. Just know that I'm working on it. I'm not always willing to share with people that I'm not okay. Just writing it down makes it all seem like it is.

Sometimes change is bad and I firmly believe that optimism is a powerful thing.