We're all human

Five days till the DMB show and I've been counting down for a month now. Happy early birthday present to me, Thanks Yurkin Boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seems there are quite a few friends going too, and we're all up for a good time.

Life is life is good is making me feel a little tired, but clarity is the key. To be perfectly honest, Aunt Ruthie is not getting better and it's stirring up bad dreams. What can I do really. Worrying is not helping but I can't help it.

RELAXATION is the word for the weekend. I just want to chill with my Girm and my Yurkin boys and friends all alike. I want to sleep in the woods at some point and at another check on my crops which are looking meager.

We lay awake talking last night about the possibility that children can be conceived without caution, it made me think about how much I appreciate having these children in my life. I get to watch them grow and see the glimmer in their eyes when they figure some thing out by themselves. I get to answer questions and it makes me see how much I myself have grown throughout this past year. I've been getting choked up these days with the turn for the worse that their mother has taken. They are two little lives that she can't seem to get past her addictions for. I'd like to spit on her, but I am not that person. I'm sorry Rich, normally I wouldn't bash anyone like this but it's killing me in it's own way. I fear for her life yet only for the stories that those kids would have to tell someday if she doesn't wise up. I can be proud that me, Manda will be included in the memories of those children for years to come. Thank you for allowing me to be that person to them. I wish I could go off her and express my anger for who she is and more so for who she is not and will never be. Dear D, yer missing out on the best part of life sweetheart and I know you will regret it. I DO NOT FEEL BAD FOR YOU. You can change, like Nike, just do it. It's almost too late, almost. Pretend for one day that you are alive and a part of this world, kiss the rocks goodbye and look in the eyes of the beautiful three year old that sits across the room from me now, and realize that he will never forgive you if you don't come to reality. Good luck.