We're all human

Wow, I haven't had a late night blog in too many nights. "
Hello how I think at night, how are you?"
"I am fine, how are you?"
"I am good, do you think they can handle what may come flying out at this hour?"
"Sure why not?"
"Okay here goes."

So I am thinking that a relaxing fire and a glass of wine do a soul a lot of good. I'm out of my mind but it's all my fault. After venting to ears who know who I am helped all in itself. Thank you kind ears. I'm relaxed and feeling good about sitting in the woods tonight writing on paper for hours on end about things that make you go hmm. It eased my should as well.

Why do we obsess over what we obsess about? In a few years it will be as ridiculous as that pimple faced fourteen year old that we thought we would just die if they knew of our crush. The things that matter....matter. It can be ridiculous to some but if your there and it's got you in a bad way, then have at it. It's so good when you look back in laughter and know that you did indeed learn some thing from it, even if it was the "lots of fish in the sea" lesson.

I don't know why I am afraid of commitment and I know WHO it came from. I also know that now I sound like every television sit com from the mid to late 90's. It is how it is. I am afraid. At one time for a long, long time, I was afraid of being alone, especially after spending many years with my first love.

I was so afraid of being alone that it scared me, I realized it, and dealt with it. Now, proudly I can do anything by myself. I mean, who doesn't need a hand with a floor model TV upon moving, but you get the drift. More than anything I think I've fallen in love with who I am when I'm by myself. I like my own company just as much as I'd like my best friends company. You don't have to say anything, you can just be you.

I grew dependent on myself to learn how to do the things that a person needs to do alone. I enjoy being there for people for things that they don't want to be alone for. Me, myself, I like to do things alone a lot. It's always nice to have a helping hand under the hood of your truck and more so, having a shoulder to cry on about things that you thought you buried at the turn of the century. I wish I was invincible, I'd sneak around and fix all the things that make all the people I love unhappy. I'll try in my mortal way, drunk or not, I will.

I am grateful to those of you who know me, or don't but either way, the ones who know when to ask and when not to. I may be f*c&ed up for good, but I'll make myself happy and hopefully the rest of you too.

Damn.....That felt GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!