About Me
- Name: amanda jane
- Location: Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania, United States
I love the outdoors and nature, friends drinking and singing around a camp fire, nothing like it. I like to make music and listen to music, i sing and play guitar, I love kids and acting like a kid. Life is tough, sometimes we just have to make it fun.
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A view of life through the eyes of a person who is slowly losing their mind.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
There's no yelling in this house tonight
That is the good thing,. It was a pleasant night, my wits are still about me. The children are sleeping, the father is unloading his gear from the music that filled our ears.
I myself being about myself must get something out of my brain on onto this white blinking screen. That thing, that wired growth on my that has been plaguing my mind with wonder for almost two years now, decided to burst tonight. It bleed profusely for a while and now it is clogged and purple and quite awful to look at. I am scared sitting here sober at one o'clock in the morning. What is it? Some friends have offered some opinions. None that I would like to accept. Some that scare me enough to make me want to slice it clean off. Either way, what will be will be. It does worry me, but I don't like to think of it. There is so much more that I worry about that I won't let them see. Why show the fear of some thing that seems so minute when there is more going on around me?
There I wrote it. I don't know what good will come of that, but I don't know how much longer I can pretend not to care when in reality it keeps me awake at night.
I saw a lot of good souls tonight in different states of mind. It was fun. I also saw a lot of disturbed one's in states of minds that I myself don't choose to be in.
Hold the throttle in wide open so we can see how retarded you are.
I will sleep well. I'm halfway there now. Do I publish or delete. Either way I will feel the same. Often times I do wish to start a blog that no one has the address to so I can say the things that I'd like to say without offending anyone or more so giving anyone reason to worry about me. I am good and I am one of those that thinks that I can fix it all myself. But I do love you all either way. Goodnight.
I myself being about myself must get something out of my brain on onto this white blinking screen. That thing, that wired growth on my that has been plaguing my mind with wonder for almost two years now, decided to burst tonight. It bleed profusely for a while and now it is clogged and purple and quite awful to look at. I am scared sitting here sober at one o'clock in the morning. What is it? Some friends have offered some opinions. None that I would like to accept. Some that scare me enough to make me want to slice it clean off. Either way, what will be will be. It does worry me, but I don't like to think of it. There is so much more that I worry about that I won't let them see. Why show the fear of some thing that seems so minute when there is more going on around me?
There I wrote it. I don't know what good will come of that, but I don't know how much longer I can pretend not to care when in reality it keeps me awake at night.
I saw a lot of good souls tonight in different states of mind. It was fun. I also saw a lot of disturbed one's in states of minds that I myself don't choose to be in.
Hold the throttle in wide open so we can see how retarded you are.
I will sleep well. I'm halfway there now. Do I publish or delete. Either way I will feel the same. Often times I do wish to start a blog that no one has the address to so I can say the things that I'd like to say without offending anyone or more so giving anyone reason to worry about me. I am good and I am one of those that thinks that I can fix it all myself. But I do love you all either way. Goodnight.
