About Me
- Name: amanda jane
- Location: Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania, United States
I love the outdoors and nature, friends drinking and singing around a camp fire, nothing like it. I like to make music and listen to music, i sing and play guitar, I love kids and acting like a kid. Life is tough, sometimes we just have to make it fun.
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A view of life through the eyes of a person who is slowly losing their mind.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
So I go up to the top of the mountain
Where everything is as paranoid as getting old.~S. Hoon
To make me cry is a great accomplishment. You gotta know that I care when you can put tears streaming down my face and in that instant I hate you just as much as I love you...because you have that ability to make me cry. More then a few of you have done it to me, as I have also done to you maybe once.
I can't get the bitter taste out of my mouth. The sweetness of the syrup from the breakfast made for me this morning was not enough to cover it up. Yet it reminded me that no one should have the ability to make me cry. That is my theme today. Could be a touch of the good ole p.m.s. It could be that finally I am barking up the wrong tree or karma is coming back to punch me for that time I said I'd call you back and never did.
I use the word "you" loosely here, it could be any one of you. I'm sorry if I said that I would call and never did. We've all been there before.
Jack and John are always good at dispensing the truth to me without any candy coating and I appreciate that.
So I will spend the day cleaning the things in my surroundings until I feel like I have made things right again. Again I have seen my life flash before my eyes and awoke this morning surprised that I made it home okay last night. How wrong is that? I've learned not to bury it all under empty beer bottles, bowls, and packs of smokes. Some times it is the best way to push it out from underneath you. Last night it was not a good idea for the simple fact that the feeling in the pit of my stomach is still so sour. I'll keep brushing my teeth, but.....this will be hanging on to me for a better part of today. Yuck.
To make me cry is a great accomplishment. You gotta know that I care when you can put tears streaming down my face and in that instant I hate you just as much as I love you...because you have that ability to make me cry. More then a few of you have done it to me, as I have also done to you maybe once.
I can't get the bitter taste out of my mouth. The sweetness of the syrup from the breakfast made for me this morning was not enough to cover it up. Yet it reminded me that no one should have the ability to make me cry. That is my theme today. Could be a touch of the good ole p.m.s. It could be that finally I am barking up the wrong tree or karma is coming back to punch me for that time I said I'd call you back and never did.
I use the word "you" loosely here, it could be any one of you. I'm sorry if I said that I would call and never did. We've all been there before.
Jack and John are always good at dispensing the truth to me without any candy coating and I appreciate that.
So I will spend the day cleaning the things in my surroundings until I feel like I have made things right again. Again I have seen my life flash before my eyes and awoke this morning surprised that I made it home okay last night. How wrong is that? I've learned not to bury it all under empty beer bottles, bowls, and packs of smokes. Some times it is the best way to push it out from underneath you. Last night it was not a good idea for the simple fact that the feeling in the pit of my stomach is still so sour. I'll keep brushing my teeth, but.....this will be hanging on to me for a better part of today. Yuck.
