We're all human

Look out. It's been a hard week. I've seen it all around me. Normally I can help but in each way it has affected me in a way that I haven't been a help.

I think it's okay. It will be okay, and all of us will once again be there.

I've found some things. I know I've missed writing.

I haven't picked up my guitar in well over a week.

This winter storm has put me where most of us should have been since November and since.

Melt snow, melt.

Spring, springspringspring. Like f*cking tigger, Spring everywhere.

It's coming.

Over tired. Emotions overspent. Not going to hide tomorrow night. I'll be right there.

I spent my after work time listening to an older friend of mine speak of the love he has found in his years.

He met his love through his sister via the telephone while serving in Viet Nam. They have been together since the day he flew home. To watch them interact is like seeing a poem come from ones thoughts to paper. He told me tonight, after have knowing them for almost two years, that they have nothing in common. That when they met, they both "just knew."

Now I've heard this from people before. The most infamous couple being my own mother and father. Themselves being poetry in motion, I know it is out there.

On that note. It always made me wonder how something as special as my mother and father could be for any other two people in this world. If I can hear it twice in one day, then I'm a happy soul.

Funny how you make a few small changes, subconsciously, and your life becomes so much better. I finally feel "what goes around comes around" to it's full affect and I am forever grateful to the almighty forces.

Love for life I have like never before. Maybe it's B-day excitement, mostly it's Chris. I can't believe it's happening to me. (is that from a song?) But it has, and I can't help but wonder if it's wrong to think I deserve it. I've been wandering for years looking for some thing to happen, for my heart to be happy and I've always tried too hard to make it happen. It's right there and it's unlike I thought it would be. It has changed my perception of so many things in this life. Things seem easier, clearer. The things that have always mattered to me, matter so much more now. Yet the things that worried me, seem so small. I can actually feel the blood pumping through my veins. Is this cheese at it's best? I'm happy, it's that simple. I smile without trying. I'm like a walking love song. It may make some sick, but you should be happy to, just knowing it's out there.

on another note< yet the same: I was so afraid to tell you. I don't know why, because you knew it was there. It's been on the tip of my tounge for a month straight and I thought I would burst if I held it in any longer. I do I do I do I do. Thank you.

Tomorrow=26. I made it another year. Each year gets better too, who woulda thunk it. Thanks again to my good friends for listening to me be me for another year. Ya'll know what I want for my birthday, and if you don't, it's that I'd like for you all to join me at Olde Thyme Charlies for a little food and a little drink, fun tunes and pool. Hope to see you there.

Swizzle.

It'll be two years tomorrow. Sorry to remind us of the glum but these things still linger in the back of our memories. No one seems to know what came of crazy Wayne and if any one does konw, please pass the info along to me. A lot of people do ask and I wish I had the answers.

Otherwise keep his memorie in mind for us tomorrow, maybe take a little ride down the trails he loves so much. I know I will.

I am glad that I am not color blind.

It's here, in full effect....summertime. We've already had a few good ones and the next few weeks are sure to be as fun, if not more. The fourth is right around the corner. But even before that we have Nicole's graduation party with the Grain and KGB.

The hill climb the DMB and of course my Birthday. I'd like for my birthday a Desingnated Driver and all of you kiddies at the Jazz Cafe' to see the Grain. That's what I want.

I guess I didn't know much about cats before I got my cat. I'm learning as I go. He is a great cat. One thing I didn't think about was the life expectacy of the little bugger. Frank's cat is seventeen years old. Sorry did I say seventeen, I meant......Holy shit his cat is SEVENTEEN! Guess I'd better learn to like the late night humps on my leg cause that's a long time.

LONG TIME.

Where were you on July 4th 2005?

Where wer you yesterday, I had a ride in the woods where an old ex's friend hit on me at the end of the day and made me want to punch him. But the dog in the mud made my sould roar with laughter. The ladder is the unforgettable part. I like to feel things on those rides when the good songs are blasting and the sun is setting.

It was close to nine thirty last night pulling out of the woods and the sky was light up as if the sun had yet to set. Bright moon casting shadows of what was once doubt, into beautiful mysteries. It's always when I' m having the most fun that I decide to leave. I think I just like to end on a good note, or for fear of the fun ending and being dissappointed.

We did Knobles on Saturday. A brave six year old rode the Pheonix while I tourned the museum. It was fun, but I will save my braveness for the next trip there. Then that night was filled with fun music and sillyness. I like friends who know how to cut loose. It makes Saturdays fun and sitting at the tubs fun too.

I like to sit.

I weigh seven more pounds then I did in high school. I am not fat, but it's what I now like to call sympathy weight, because good ole Kelly's baby Joes is making her expand.

Sorry to offend you Rich but you are so vauge yet so specific and some times when you write things I feel as if I'm being personally attacked. Especially when you make fun of the things some of us do in the woods. You never come back there, so I don't see why you care. But you know I love you and the boys, that being said, that's all that needs to be said.

How's life everybody. Sunday will be soooo nice and yet again I have damn plans. Not that plans are bad and these plans involve a family that I have yet to meet all at once. Kelly C. not Kelly D. anymore, I'm looking forward to your party. So after the party I get to go meet "totally unplugged" and then I'd like to see the woods.

Do you like my flowers? Should I plant more? I know they will get trampled on at one point or another but they sure are perty.

Most of my issues have subsided, I'm in limbo in every way shape and form and maybe that is what makes me happiest.

The leaves on the trees are right in front of my face blowing in the wind. It's a sight that around Feb. I was afraid I'd never get to see. It's beautiful, thank you Mother Nature.

I tried to learn how to line dance, I didn't do too well and you know the old saying "If at first you don't succeed try try again." Yeah well, I'm supposed to try, try again at seven o'clock tonight, but poop on that. Have you seen the pin wheels from the top of the Mnt. They are interesting and make me think of changing with the times. Maybe I'll get a tattoo of G. W. Bush right on my butt hole. Very proper ain't I.

My hair is culry all by itself and I like it. Taking a ride to see those perty pin wheels tonight.

See you on top of the Mountain.

Every now and again I make the mistake of reading "some of us." I can't talk to you. I haven't been able to "talk" to you since Christmas morning when you proved once again that you can't separate your dream mountain world from reality. You are a miserable man yet you try and find moments of happiness when actually it seems to just remind you that you pushed us all away. You pushed us all away and then you blame it on the way we live our lives, who we choose to relate with and where we choose to spend our time. If you could of accepted anyone of us for just the way we are then maybe you would see that your not so different and that we are good people. Isn't that what makes the world go round? The freedom to make our own decisions. I often wonder if you think that you are above the rest of us. "Some of Us" kind of shows us just that. I don't think I've ever known you to once just enjoy a moment.....a sunset.....a joke....for just what it is. Your always trying to find One thing that makes something special less beautiful.

I've given up. I have tried to put it all aside just to have another day with those two rays of sunshine that I was so blessed to care for. Now what. Your going to go on ranting via the internet and have also brought me down to that. You get mad at everything that goes on up the back (good band by the way) yet your not a part of it. Some things should be kept to thought and never recorded. But hey as long as you don't care that we know you are bashing us and our friends then I guess I don't care about what I'm posting today.

That's been a long time coming folks and you'd never know why it bothers me so unless you were me. I had to get it out, now I can finally go on without pent up frustration and never never steer onto that page again.

I hope every one else is feeling good about their lives. Right now some one too young is on their deathbed wishing they could have more time to do those little things. Like sit by a creek and watch the water, or throw a Frisbee with a friend who is really bad at throwing it back. To go for a ride with an old friend and finally tell them how much they mean to you (thanks Shawn). I am glad for the life that I have. No one can take that away from me, especially with words. If it ended tomorrow I would not take those last moments as an "I wish" because I really feel that I have the best friends and family in the world and have had the best of experiences because of them.